Why embracing your finitude may be the key to a better life

I’ve recently become an evangelist for the ‘philosophy’ of Oliver Burkeman, which he’s developed over the course of three best-selling books The Antidote (2012), Four Thousand Weeks (2021) and Meditations for Mortals (2025). As somebody who’s mission is to help people realise their potential here’s why I recommend you give Oliver’s ideas and call for embracing finitude full consideration. Better still why not use this to begin exploring how you can apply his ideas to develop a resilient, pragmatic, approach that enables you to live well while making the most of your one – finite - life.  

The myth of the limitless life

Burkeman’s compelling call is for us to challenge the idea that we should be able to do it all, fit everything in, and achieve all we dream, in the time we’ve got and to the high standards society, culture - and not least a lot of self-help literature - suggest is possible. Burkeman rightly reminds us this is a myth.  Our time, energy, and abilities are limited. There are a myriad number of factors beyond our control working against us. Most of all, lest we forget, life is finite (comprising 4,700 weeks if you’re lucky enough to reach 90). At first this may sound like bad news. But if you really think about it, he says, it’s actually quite liberating.

Most of us act like we just need to find the right system. If only we could organise ourselves better, become more motivated, block out distractions, or wake up earlier… then everything would fall into place.  But the issue can’t be reduced to productivity. It’s the assumption that we ought to be able to keep up with every expectation, ambition, and responsibility we feel drawn to that is the problem. Burkeman argues that the cost to us of believing in this myth of limitlessness is that it fuels so much of our modern dissatisfaction, leading us to overcommit, overstretch, and overlook the fact that life is not a puzzle to be solved but an experience to be lived. And crucially, it’s an experience we only get once.

Finitude as a way of seeing

When you accept that you can’t do or become everything, your horizons don't shrink, on the contrary it encourages you to sharpen your focus.  Suddenly, you’re free to choose what truly matters, instead of trying for an impossible standard (all those ‘bucket list’ travel destinations beloved by the press a prime example). Your priorities become clearer. Your decisions gentler. You stop mis-placing attention on things that were never really that important to you in the first place. What’s meaningful to you becomes more obvious and the pressure you and others were putting on you eases.

The pull of the present

One of Burkeman’s most powerful points is that chasing a perfect future can cause us to miss out on the simple pleasures of the life we’re already living. By focussing most of our attention on how we can make our life better in the future we conversly suggest the one we currently have is of lower value.  The risk is that we spend most of our lives constantly striving for a future that never arrives when instead we’d be much better off placing as much, if not most, of our attention on the life we’re presently leading and the outcomes whose closeness to us in time and space renders them more readily attainable.  

Think about it. Is it not the small experiences, the ones easiest to overlook when you’re fixated on the future, simple pleasures such as chatting to a friend, walking in nature, or giving to a good cause, that typically provide your life with most of its meaning and depth?  As Eckhart Tolle tells Burkeman (in ‘The Antidote’) “Most humans are never fully present in the now because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life”.

Resilience through acceptance

Accepting life’s limits doesn’t mean surrendering your aspirations. It simply means you stop fighting the reality that life won’t always go to plan writes Burkeman. Instead of wrestling with it, you learn to accept uncertainty. Instead of hoping for an easy ride you remain open to what a challenging one offers you. Instead of criticising yourself for not managing everything, you recognise that nobody does and learn to praise yourself for what you are managing. There is a strength that comes from seeing life as it is rather than constantly trying to shape it into something it can never be.

A meaningful life, not a maximised one

The heart of Oliver Burkeman’s case is that your finitude is something to embrace, not avoid, and this is the key to really living. If you had unlimited time choices would lose their meaning. Because you don’t every choice becomes significant, every moment a little richer, every relationship, more precious. Embracing your finitude doesn’t diminish your life, it enriches it. It invites you to stop striving for the impossible and start living what is possible. To be at peace with the noise. To choose presence over perfection. To be selective. To treat having limited time not as a worry you’ll never be free of but an opportunity to make the most of what you're capable of as a true and authentic human.

Through coaching, training and personal development retreats Headspace Coaching Plus is dedicated to enabling people and teams to embrace their finitude and make the most of ever limited time. For more information please get in touch. And if you like'd like to receive more thought-provoking pieces such as this dropped into your inbox from time to time why not subscribe to my Blog?